User blog:Charlie the Penguin/shock.doc
These episodes are getting weirder and weirder... Gary: *bursts into the Penguin Times office* DIRECTO- I MEAN AUNT ARCTIC!!! Aunt Arctic: GAH!! *throws desk out window and dumps black paint over self* Penguins: HOLY CRAP THE DIRECTOR IS AUNT ARCTIC!!!! Director: Ugh, I knew making this office public was a bad idea... *takes out bloody axe* Gary, block off the exit! Gary: *throws every desk in sight at the door, blocking the penguins from leaving* Director: Alright, let's get this over with. The following scene has been removed due to depiction of unspeakable acts of violence and terror. Director: Now, what is it you wanted to tell me? Gary: I've been thinking, why did you need to collect all those mascot bodies? Aunt Arctic: We can't just leave them... oh, wait. *dumps black paint over self and talks in director voice* We can't just leave them dead like this! Rockhopper's set to appear in the Holiday Party in just a few months! We need to revive them. Gary: Even if that was possible for us to do, why should we when the staff can do it easily? Director: Have you seen them lately?! Meanwhile... Spike: Megg, why does the homepage read "Club Megg"? Megg: I for one think that it looks a million times better! Spike: Ugh, I need a drink... Gary: So how do you plan on reanimating them, anyway? Director: I'm sure you can figure something out. Gary: ...Oh. Okay. *walks towards the door* Director: Oh, and by the way, why did you run in screaming? Gary: I... I don't remember... Director: *sigh* Whatever. *throws the dead noobs out the window where they land on a penguin sitting at a Coffee Shop table* Penguin: AHHHH WHAT THE FU- P79155752572 has been banned from Club Penguin. Director: I mean, that shouldn't be too hard, right? You can do that, can't you? Charlie: No. Gary: Come on Charlie, you're the only penguin I know who can code! I may be a scientist, but the fabric of our universe is beyond my studies. I just study that stuff that no one ever wants to listen to for some reason. Charlie: Look, tampering with code isn't easy even for me, and I only know how to because of that time I abducted Polo Field. Charlie: TEACH ME HOW TO CODE DANGIT Polo Field: MAKE ME Charlie: ...Fine then.*dangles Polo Field over the edge of Mystery Mountain* Polo: Okay, okay! I'll do it! *teaches Charlie how to code while still holding onto the edge* Now will you help me up? Charlie stomps down on Polo's flippers, causing him to yelp in pain. Charlie bends down and chuckles to himself. Charlie: 'Long live the king.' *kicks Polo's flippers off of the edge of the cliff* Polo: AHHHHHHHH Green Ninja: NOOOOOOO Gary: I see. Charlie: Look, I'll do it, or at least try, but only because I love what I do. Gary: Which is? Charlie: *throws self against Helmet's door several times* PLUFFYYYYYY GET YOUR FAT BUTT OUT HERE AND HELP ME REVIVE PEOPLE WE HATE Pluffy: *takes out bazooka and blows up door* >:( GRRRRRRRRRRRokay! :D In Charlie's Lab... Charlie: *attaches cables to large computer* We'll test it out on Kermit first because I'm pretty sure that he won't ever be a party mascot again and frankly I don't think any one really cares about him anyway *gets murdered by Muppet fanatics* One respawn later... Pluffy: This one? *looks at large red button ladled "You Should Probably Push This"* Charlie: *attaches wire to Kermit's stomach* No, it's the other one. Pluffy: Oh, okay. *presses the other conveniently-placed large red button ladled "Only Push If You Have a Death Wish", and gets shocked with a bolt of electricity* GAHHHH Charlie: Oh, sorry, I thought you meat that one. Pluffy: *coughs* You know, I just realized why I hate working with you, you're a huge donkey hole! Charlie: *Italian accent* Eh problemo? *makes troll face* Pluffy: *rams into "You Should Probably Push This", propellor first* There! A large bolt flashes down from a machine on the ceiling and electrocutes Kermit so hard his lifeless body begins dancing. Kermit: *revives* Hah! Who could have guessed that shock humor could save my career? Pluffy: ...Well, the system works. *purposely shocks Kermit again, killing him* Later... Charlie: Well, Gary, the revival was a success! Gary: That's great! Is everyone acting normal? Charlie: Yep! Well, except for Herbert. Gary: WHAT?! You revived Herbert?! Charlie: He was more of a second test, if it worked then I was planning on killing him again. Gary: Then why didn't you? Charlie: Well... just look at him! *points* Herbert: *sees an abandoned pookie wearing a grass skirt sitting under a tree and crying* Gasp! *runs over* What's the matter you poor little girl? Pookie: *sobbing* Tinks I Haz No Mumu or Duh Duh! :*( Herbert: :O How terrible! You poor thing, you must have been through a lot. *hands a bright red rose to pookie, who slowly smiles up at him* Gary: *looks disgusted* Gag me. Charlie: Wut Gary: Hm? Oh! No, I mean, uh... What exactly did you do to hi-?! Charlie: Shock therapy. Gary: Ah. Thanks for reading everyone! You've probably noticed by now that this season's release schedule has been kinda slow. Because of that, I'm changing the comment requirement system. Now, a new episode will be released when the preceding episode gets three comments (they don't have to be your favorite part, but if you make a comment like that it will count as two). Thanks again, and be sure to check out the next episode *sings* OR YOU WILL BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNN --Charlie the Penguin: Don't just do something, stand there! 17:16, November 16, 2014 (UTC) Category:Blog posts